I just want to throw in there juggling all of these things aren’t easy, at all. There’s going to be days where you feel like it’s too much, & just want to give up at times. I guess for me over the years time management has helped me in so many ways possible, & I have to always tell myself that one day all of this all will eventually pay off.
If you’re wondering who keeps the kids while I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off, it’s Mike. He works overnights at the post office, while I work the day shift at the bank and go to school in the evening. Nights and weekends is my bonding time with my children, & I cherish every second watching Annie over and over again.
People say to me all the time, I don’t see how you do it and still able to make time for your children and your man. To honestly answer your question, you have to know what comes first and prioritize. My family is the most important thing in my life, so I’m going to make sure they’re my first priority at the end of the day! But I do have to make a living for us, & by that I go to work and school.
Juggling my relationship with all of the things I have going on….
Mike is very supportive and doesn’t really require much from me, just because he knows how important it is for me to accomplish my goals. Let’s not get it twisted, we do make it a priority to make time for eachother. We’re both off on the weekends so we spend the whole weekend either doing things as a family or having a date night for a few hours, while the kids are away at their nana house.
Despite having different work schedules, & not being able to spend time with eachother whenever we want to is kind of frustrating at times but its something you have to get accustomed to when you have children, especially small children. I’ll see him for a few hours before its time for me to start my day and when I get off its time for him to get ready to start his overnight shift. I guess this just works for us, I know people who require so much time together with their spouse that they tend to bump heads because the other person is too busy! In our case, it’s just never that serious! We both know that we have to work in order for us to take care of our children, household and ourselves. So we understand that we won’t be able to see and spend as much time as we would like, but we have priorities so we just have to do what we have to do.
Working and trying to finish college:
I do have my days where I’m just like, you know what I don’t want this anymore! I just would rather work and not think about the stress of graduating from college, but I think about my job and how I don’t want to a bank teller for the rest of my life. So I suck it up, & just grind even harder because that’s just something I don’t ever see myself doing for the rest of my life. College isn’t easy, by far and I think the closer I am to finishing the more axienty I get and it makes me so nervous.
I learned that those small little pep talks to yourself, & just having genuine people in your corner to lift you up whenever you’re feeling down and out about something helps you out a lot.
Quick little message:
Another thing that I can offer you guys is don’t compare your life and what you’re doing to the next person. You might think someone has the perfect life via social media, but in reality they don’t! They’re trying to make a living just like you, they get stressed out because life can be overwhelming and they have a lot of bills that keeps adding up! Nothing is peaches and cream, we’re ALL human beings at the end of the day!
I wouldn’t say my life is all peaches and cream, because it’s not! I’ve had my share of good and bad days, sometimes I have more bad days than I have good days. I mean who hasn’t, I’m human right? Well about seven to six years ago, I didn’t think my life would turn out the way it did. I was so hurt, damage, broken and all of the above. It got to a point where I just wanted to be alone and crawl right under a rock, I was so emotionally broken. I had everything I wanted, but I still wasn’t happy! Like how can a person who has everything be so unhappy and miserable?
Seeing that I was so unhappy and miserable didn’t really do anything for me, besides bring me down and cause me to miss out on so many great opportunities in life. It took for me to have my first breaking point and ask myself is this really how you want to live your life sad, depressed, broken, bitter and angry? Do the people who genuinely love you deserve to be treated with so much disrespect, because you’re too afraid of being let down? What are you going to do when they leave, because they don’t deserve the way you’re treating them? Do you want to be lonely for the rest of your life? Is this really what you want? The answer was definitely no!
That saying “hurt people, hurt people” is true because that’s exactly what I was doing to the people who just wanted to love me unconditional. Me being who I was then wouldn’t allow others to come into my life and make things better because all I knew how to do was push people away because all I felt like they were going to do was leave me anyways. It took for me to almost lose everything and everyone, to finally realize that I had everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me all along.
Looking back on my experience I can definitely say I’ve came along way mentally and emotionally. I feel like you can have everything in the whole world, but if you don’t genuinely love yourself than it means absolutely nothing! Being able to live and walk in my truth and acknowledge my hurt was so worth it, because I feel like I was rebirthed and was able to get another chance to be the person I was trying so hard to become. Having a strong support system got me through everything I was facing and knowing I wasn’t alone made me enjoy the journey even more.
Moral to the story:
People ask me all the time, why don’t I post or share my relationship with my boyfriend via social media. Well… The answer to your question is because I don’t feel like I have too, I’m not trying to sound arrogant or cocky what so ever! But I don’t feel the need to share certain things and that being one, I might post something or a picture here and there but that’s about it. Mike doesn’t have any type of social media sites, so it’s really pointless if you ask me lol. Plus we just rather not be confined and condemned to the standards of social media or the world on how our relationship is “supposed” to be.
Some people are just private, & choose not to exploit their relationship! Not because they’re hiding something, but they don’t need people who don’t personally know them in their relationship! You can post a million and one pictures and post about your man/woman and people will still feel like you’re not happy with the person you’re with and lying about your relationship or whatever. So yeah, I just choose not to do what other people do! No validation needed, it’s never that serious. 🤗
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the past 8 years, we met in middle school through a mutual friend and pretty much been dating every since! I wouldn’t say our relationship was serious back then, because we were so young! So I don’t know if I should say 8 years, but it has been 8 long years of great friendship. Before we started dating, we were friends, hanging out, having fun and doing stuff that normal teenagers do.
We would literally talk on the phone for hours, which is hilarious because we wouldn’t get off of the phone until one of our parents picked up the landline and say it’s such and such time, you’ll see him/her at school tomorrow. We did this for about 5 months, until he “Mike” decided to ask me to be his girlfriend. I definitely said yes, of course lol. Even with us going to different schools after our 9th grade year, we still kept in contact with each other and would arrange to see each other once a month.
I think it wasn’t until we were about 15-16 years old when our relationship began to get serious, I think we were both at a point in our lives where we felt like this was something we both wanted. Yeah I know, we were young butttt we just knew that we wanted each other and that was just that. We went from seeing each other once a month, to pretty much seeing each other a couple of times a week “if we weren’t working, or at school”. Mike ended up getting his license and buying a car, so yeah we were definitely seeing each other a whole lot more.
We had our first child “Autumn” very young 17 and 19 years old and I believe at that time is when we became more responsible, selfless adults and parents! I mean you would hear and see stories of young couples, having children but separating before or after the child was born. So in that sense, I didn’t know what our future held, but he was very supportive and more than ready to take on our new responsibility. His actions proved everything statistic said wrong, that’s why I love him so much!
I think it’s so important to build a friendship, before you jump into a relationship. Every relationship is different, that I do know! Establishing a friendship and getting to know the person you’re dating or see yourself being with long term is so important. People look at young couples and say all types of negative things and it really makes me kind of sad and disgusted that they wouldn’t be supportive of two people who are in love. I’m not saying this happened to us, but I’m just speaking in general.
If you’re a person who loves and values yourself, being disrespected by another individual will never be tolerated in your life, period! I think that people know who they can disrespect and run over, because they’ll continue to do it especially if they see that that’s the type of behavior you allow into your life.
People who really love and respect you, will never disrespect you! & that’s as real as its going to get, setting some boundaries in your life on the things you will not tolerate or settle for should definitely be a priority! Also, If you’re constantly telling yourself this person loves me and cares about me, but their actions shows you other wise then maybe they really don’t love or care about you! It doesn’t matter how much you do for that individual, if they don’t want to love and respect you, then that’s just something they’re not going to do! It doesn’t matter how many times you allow that person back into your life, if they don’t want to change the way that they treat you then that’s just really what it is.
People mentally check themselves out of the relationship earlier on when they feel like it’s not going anywhere, the love or connection isn’t there anymore or whatever the case may be. Don’t get me wrong they will continue to be around, just to be around because they don’t want to let you go! So they continue to string you along with all of these lies, promises and etc. Some people are just controlling and will rather see you unhappy with them, instead of being happy with someone else!
Moral to the story: Don’t ignore the red flags you begin to see earlier on in the relationship, friendship or whatever the case may be.