Life changes.

 

It’s so easy to become frustrated, angry, and even bitter when things in your life begin to go downhill, especially when you felt as though things were starting to get better. I’ve been praying for peace, strength, guidance, and patience when it came to a specific toxic situation, and this weekend I asked God to free me from anything that he felt didn’t serve my purpose, or spirit! & guess what he did, freed me from that emotionally + mentally draining situation!

When I tell you I feel amazing, refreshed, and free! I genuinely mean it, like it feels good waking up in the morning, and not having to worry about going into a toxic work environment, and being micro-managed all day! It’s draining, and not healthy for anyone! I truly believe this was exactly what I needed to be freed from, and I feel fulfilled! I prayed on this situation for months, and God gave me confirmation that it’s time to let go, and let’s just say he doesn’t make any mistakes!

I have learned so many things within these past 6-7 months, and one big lesson that has stuck with me is to NEVER settle for anything, it doesn’t matter how much you’re getting paid, period! You can be the sweetest + positive person in the planet, and there will still be people out here that has a field day bringing you down, and it’s so disgusting + pathetic! You can shed light on situations, but shit never changes, and that’s just how things + people are, and it’s mind boggling!

I really felt like I was losing myself + passion being somewhere that diminished who I am, and that’s not right! I’ve always/still have a passion for helping people, and I swear I was ready to be like you know what, maybe I shouldn’t do this anymore because that’s how bad things was! I just thank God I didn’t make that decision because I genuinely love people, and I love helping people! ❤

I knew I was deserving of something so much better, I don’t know why I didn’t cut things off when I seen the red flags in the beginning… I can’t wait to finally experience working for a company where I feel valued, appreciated, and supported like a human being! I swear there’s been so many lessons, personal-growth, and blessings within these last few months, it’s insane! I honestly thank God for growth, and a peace of mind! It’s not our jobs to humble others, that’s God job, and you know what they say? GOD DOESN’T LIKE UGLY! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Anyways…

As some of you may/may not know, back in July I decided to go back to school, and finish up my BSW. Monday was the beginning of the semester, and I must say it’s looking like a really great semester so far! I manged to tackle the first weeks assignments, and I was surprised at how much homework my professors gave out this week! I had two essays, two quizzes, and multiple little homework assignments. I never go to school in the summertime, and I thought I was mentally prepared for all of this school work, once I looked at that syllabus, I almost fainted lbvs!

It felt so good stepping back on campus, and doing what I love, and that’s learning new things! The classes I’m taking this semester is really interesting, and I look forward to learning more about creative writing, and the emotional + mental affects natural disasters have on people etc! I also decided to take an introduction to art class, mind you I can’t draw to save my life, but it’s more so focused on the background of art, and how art is pretty much apart of our everyday lives!

New illustration alert:


(Here’s the final look to the new Unashamed Queens illustration, created by Deun Ivory).

I’ll have shirts, hats, and other accessories available for pre-order next Friday 9/1, all items will ship out 9/8. I’ve also created a free 3 week self-care workshop, that I’m beyond excited about! The feedback, and support I’ve been getting from this workshop is amazing, and I’m so thankful that I’m doing the things I’m passionate about, and that’s helping others reach their higher-self.

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Cultivating the life you want to live.

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(Artwork by: Vashti Harrison)

Peace, happiness, and joy have to be the highest possible vibrations you can have in your life. When you’re grateful with where you’re at in life, you start to manifest greatness. A lot of people want to know how to discover peace, joy + happiness, and don’t realize these things cultivate from within! If you want to cultivate these amazing things, start by cultivating these things into your life daily. We also have to be mindful that happiness + joy is a choice, and we all have choices whether we want to be happy or not! This new found joy + happiness isn’t up to anyone, but yourself.

I say this a lot, butttt…

Life isn’t always going to be sunshine + roses, and that’s just the way things are. I truly believe that how we go about certain situations determine whether or not we want to be stagnant, or continue to move forward. By any means your life is completely yours, and you’re entitled to do whatever it is you want to do, but let’s be mindful, everything we decide to do is a choice. & let’s understand that there’s nothing wrong with experiencing + having low moments from time to time, let’s just use these low moments to bring our lows to highs.

Quick self-reflection

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting, and I noticed that I was spending so much time planning for my future, and not being appreciative of where I’m at right at this very second! At this point in my life I had to take a step back, and realize how blessed I am. I just think that when we get so caught up with worrying about what might or might not happen in our future, we start to diminish the amazing things that’s transpiring in our present life. We don’t allow ourselves to fully enjoy the present and where true joy, peace, and happiness exist. So let’s focus on not getting so worked up with things not going our way, and focus on the amazing things God is trying to show us with the things we already have!

Taking the next steps

Just being able to take a little step in the direction of your dreams, will spark so much joy in your life. I know sometimes it can be hard trying to figure out what direction you want to go, but you have to have faith, and trust that God will bring you to where you need to be! I want you all to know that you’re all powerful + gifted beings, and you have to use that same power to invest in the things you want in life. You also want to be gentle with yourselves, and understand that how you treat yourself can affect you in either a positive or negative way.

Also…

Engage in things that you’re passionate about, and things that fulfills your heart desire. Alot of times we see what other people are doing, and we see that they’re passionate about those things, and we end up wanting to live their life, and do whatever it is they’re doing because we see them prospering and doing things they love, when we haven’t even found our calling yet! I’m just here to tell you that staying in your own lane + finding your calling will bring you an abundance amount of peace, happiness, and joy.

Sprinkle of motivation…

We have to understand that everyone’s path + journey is different, and that it’s okay to be inspired by people, but wanting what they have isn’t going to bring you everlasting joy! Let’s focus on not comparing our journey’s with others, because this will only cause so much toxicity in our own lives + spirit! I want you all to believe in yourself, and focus on your own journey! I want you all to know that you’re exactly where God wants you to be at, and let’s continue to focus on doing us and the things that genuinely make us happy!

Love,

Takeia

Why I took a much needed break this summer, and what it has taught me about myself.

 

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(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)

Hello beautiful souls,

Today’s blog topic is going to be focused on why I needed to take a much needed mental break this summer, and understanding that it’s okay to unplug without feeling apologetic.

This past summer I decided to take a much needed break from everything + everyone to focus completely on myself, and craft. I even took a small blogging break, because I didn’t really didn’t have the words to write about how I was feeling at that moment. Normally when I find myself unplugging from the world, blogging is one of my outlets but this time around I didn’t have any energy to write. I just didn’t want to be bothered, and eventually I stopped answering my phone. I wasn’t really feeling my best-self, so I needed to get to the root of so many things + emotions I was feeling. There are days, weeks, and even months where I go through these little spells, and I isolate myself from everything to get my head back together. It’s really nothing against anyone, I just have my days where I just need to be completely alone.

Over the past few years self-care has been one of my top priories, but it wasn’t until this year when I experienced my first “real” burnout that I needed to focus more on taking care of myself, and putting myself first as well. Now for most people who don’t understand the importance of self-care, this might sound a little selfish that you’re putting yourself first, but it’s not! Self-care is so important + vital in our everyday life, and it’s also important that if you’re in an unhealthy space, you need to make sure that you take a step back and focus completely on getting yourself together, even if this means unplugging from everything + everyone until you feel you’re in a great space!

If you’ve read some of my previous blog post, you may know that I battle with depression and taking care of my mental-health is one of my main priorities. I just feel as though we put so much unneeded pressure on ourselves, and don’t realize that we’re ourselves sick. When I experienced my first real burnout this spring, I remember my professor telling us in class that whenever you get to a point in your career/life or anything, it’s time to move on! Let me mind you, I ended up staying thinking things were going to get better, and guess what? It didn’t…

I didn’t know where to go, or who to turn to at the moment other than God because in the beginning I felt fulfilled, but as the months went by, I didn’t have those same feelings. I felt like giving up, and just quitting! I spoke briefly about how I was feeling to a close co-worker of mine, and she gave me the best advice, ever! She told me that nothing changes, unless you make the change! Those words stuck with me, and I decided to bring this issue up to the supervisor about being micro-managed, and surprisingly, she wanted to figure out better ways to support me! I’m not going to say that things are 100% better, because change doesn’t happen overnight, but I would say we’re maybe at 55%, which is better than 0%.

Sighhh…

There’s still some uneasy emotions, but I truly + honestly believe that God is about to bless me with something bigger, and better! So we shall see what these next few months are looking like, but in the meantime this will have to do until I find something better! Let’s just pray that there’s a bigger blessing with my name on it, before the end of this year….

During this little break…

I have noticed that people who don’t really know me, take offense to my mental-breaks, and make what I am going through about them, which is completely selfish, and self-centered. It’s really taking me so many years to put myself first, and for people to think that my world + mental well-being revolves around them is completely insane. I truly believe that when you tell people you don’t feel like doing this or that, and they catch an attitude, that’s when you know theses aren’t the people you need in your life, and they simply don’t care about nobody but themselves, and I refuse to have people in my life like that, PERIOD!

Appreciate the people that’s REALLY in your corner..

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(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)

I appreciate my amazing support system, and the half handful of friends + blogger sisters I have who genuinely has my back, and care about my well-being. It’s very rare that you come across people who genuinely love, care, and support you! When you have people like this in your life, it’s important that you appreciate + value them. There’s never not been a time where I was going through something, and I couldn’t call on them for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear.

Moving forward…

This summer I have learned that when I feel my best, I give my best. I’ve noticed that I am more focused, positive, a better lover, mother, and friend when I feel my best. I have also learned that I need to continuously give myself small pep-talks on how there’s NO such thing as perfect, and that we’re all imperfect people, and that it’s okay to have fucked up days! I also have to be mindful of the negative things I say to myself, and about myself when I don’t feel my best. There’s going to be days where I feel my absolute best, and then there are going to be days where I feel like shit, and that’s okay! We have to understand that we are human, and that it’s okay to embrace all of these emotions from time to time.

During this little break I also decided to let go of a lot of past hurt, pain, and self-sabotage, and started to embrace joy, peace, and happiness. This is a never ending process, but the joy you begin to feel after you’ve genuinely forgiven yourself feels amazing, and that joy you begin to experience is unexplainable. I personally think when we learn that life is truly what we make out of it, you’ll begin to see things in a new perspective. I have this newfound joy in my life, and it’s truly taking me years to get to this point, and it feels really good!

New beginnings….

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(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)

This summer I just needed to do a little more soul-searching and to dig a little deep into the woman I want to be in the future, and by doing this I had to understand that I needed to take a break from unhealthy habits, and situations to focus completely on myself. I used this summer to unplug from things that didn’t contribute to my happiness, or the woman God has called me to be. Taking this break has opened so many doors for myself, and brought out this creative side I didn’t knew existed deep inside of me. I feel so amazing, refreshed, and recharged to tackle on all of these amazing projects I have set out to do before the end of the year approaches.

Sprinkle of motivation…

I just want you all to live your best life, and to enjoy the NOW! Often times we get so focused on planning for our future, that we forget to enjoy where we’re right this second! This causes us to burnout, and it’ll eventually cause you to go into a state of depression. Enjoy your life, and do the things you love! Don’t rush the process, let these amazing opportunities/blessings come to you naturally. Don’t beat yourself up because you feel as though you could be doing more, understand that you’re doing the best that you can, with what you have right now and that’s all that matters.

Here’s a quick list of self-care rituals I do on a day-to-day basis to get my spirits back up.

  1. Longggg conversations with God.
  2. Listening to my favorite podcast.
  3. Read my daily bible devotions.
  4. Taking a bubble bath.
  5. Reading one of my favorite books.
  6. Catching up on my favorite tv shows.
  7. Taking a walk in my neighborhood.
  8. Working out for 30 minutes a day.
  9. Listening to my favorite music playlist.
  10. Writing a new blog.
  11. Spending some alone time at my favorite coffee shop.

Finding joy through the pain.

Hello beautiful souls,

Nicholle Kobi

(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)

Today I just wanted to come on here, and shed some love + light. I hope you all are having an amazing + joyful week, and just overall staying thankful + positive. I know with this new month, you have a million and one things you want to get accomplished this month. I have so many amazing things projects I’m working on, and I can’t wait for you all to finally see the new look for Unashamed Queens. It’s been a long busy + productive summer, working with an amazing creative who I respect + admire, and the this new illustration she created for me is beyond beautiful.

Moving forward.

(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi).

Today I caught myself reflecting on this past year, and all of the amazing things God is doing in my life, and I couldn’t help but to be appreciative of his grace. Often times we find ourselves focusing on the things that brings us so much pain, and not realizing that pain is temporary. I remember being the type of person that was comfortable with being stagnant, and allowed all of the pain I have endured in life to hinder me from receiving God’s love + grace. I was so used to pointing the finger, and placing blame on others for my lack of self-love.

It wasn’t until I had to genuinely forgive myself, and allow myself to go through the process of self-love. It wasn’t easy at first, there was days where I felt like giving up, and just saying fuckkkk it! But I hated the way pain felt, and just knowing that living in darkness just wasn’t an option for me anymore. I was so tired of feeling broken + unhappy, that I decided to change my perspective. I wouldn’t say I’m numb to pain, because we’re all human, and we’re all going to experience some type of pain in our lives, whether we want too, or not.

For me I knew I didn’t want to live my life not being able to forgive, and just simply holding grudges toward people who have wronged me. I remember reading this quote, and it specifically said “sometimes you have to accept an apology you never got”, and that right there spoke so many volumes in my life because we will literally drown ourselves in pain, knowing these people will never tell us their sorry for the pain they’ve caused us. I’ve also realized that you have to also forgive yourself, and be open to joy. We don’t understand that all of this stems from within, and if you want to be happy, you can’t expect for others to bring you something that should already come from the inside.

So….

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(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi).

I began to pray more, and re-build my relationship with God. I also started to get rid of things + people that didn’t serve my spirit in a positive light. If I wanted to be my higher-self, I had to let go of things that didn’t bring me joy + peace. I also had to be mindful that if I continued to live my life the way I was living it, I wasn’t going to end up being the woman God called me to be. When I thought about that, I knew I needed to change my thought process, and be emotionally-freed from toxic bondage.

I think when some people think about forgiveness, they think of it as being a sign of weakness, but it’s really a sign of growth. The joy you begin to feel after you’ve forgiving yourself, and the people that have wrong you is such an amazing + overwhelming feeling. If I had to think about where I was, and who I used to be 3-4 years ago, I could honestly say that the woman I was then was broken and unhappy. She didn’t know the things she knows today, and that’s why growth is such a beautiful thing.

I just thank God each and everyday for giving me a heart that’s filled with forgiveness + joy now. I’m not going to say that there isn’t days where I think about the past, because I am human, and I have my days of weakness, and being vulnerable! I feels good to not have any type of bitterness or malice in your heart anymore. This newfound joy feels good, and I’m embracing it with open arms.

Also…

I want to encourage you all that it’s okay to feel weak + vulnerable(sometimes), but it’s not okay to not be okay! I want you all to surround yourself around people who genuinely love + care about your well-being, and people who encourages you to be your higher-self everyday! When you’re always the one encouraging others, but don’t feel as though you can’t go to anyone for encouragement, then that’s a problem, and I want you all to re-evaluate the people you have in your life. People who love + care about you, will never want to see you suffer, they’ll want to see you succeed! I just want you all to be mindful of miserable-comforters, and to be able to distinguish the difference between people who want to see you suffer rather than succeed.

Love,

Takeia

 

Day 1: #SheHeals Challenge

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I decided to participate in my bloggers sisters MellieKing.Com + TamekaChristmas.Com

#SheHeals 31 day challenge. 

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Question #1

When you look into the mirror, what do you see?

When I look into the mirror: I see a strong, beautiful, valuable, worthy, self-less, unapologetic, and unashamed woman who has overcome so many hardships in life.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who previously lacked self-love + worth.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who is building a promising sisterhood community for beautiful women.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who sometimes has her days of feeling worthless.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who will give anyone the shirt off of her back.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who isn’t afraid of standing out, and being different.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who loves to love.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who is finally loving herself unconditionally.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who is finally letting go of self-sabotage.

When I look into the mirror: I see a woman who is proud of herself.

Question #2

Who are you right now?

Right now I am where God wants me to be.

Right now I am love.

Right now I am light.

Right now I am worthy.

Right now I am focused

Right now I am free

Right now I am proud

Right now I am capable of anything I set my mind to.

#Chapter24

 

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Hello beautiful souls,

I hope you all are having an amazing + prosperous week getting things done, and spreading love + light into this world! We’re already in month 8, where did the time go? It feels like yesterday we were entering in the new year, and now we’re more than halfway through this year! I can’t wait to see all of the amazing things God is going to do in each of our lives this month, and moving forward! This year has been so filled with so much joy, temporary pain, peace, and overall happiness! It feels like I haven’t posted a blog in foreverrrr, life has been crazy, busy, and productive for me! I have a few things I’ve been working on, and needed to take a slight break from blogging to dedicate my full attention to my craft! But I’m backkkk, and feeling amazing + rejuvenated!

I hope you all managed to get your August goals written down, and if you haven’t already done so, start TODAY! If you’re a person who struggles with setting goals, I highly suggest that you find some effective ways to help you with goal-setting! Pintrest has some really great goal-setting prompts you can use to better help you set your goals throughout the day, week, month and year. I want to also encourage you all to get in the habit of setting goals + deadlines. Often times we set goals only in the beginning of the new year, but neglect to set goals throughout the year. I want you all to get to a point in your life where if you want to do something, you’re going to do it, PERIOD! Don’t worry about if it takes you days, weeks, months, or even years to complete, just start on it NOW, and watch it grow in due time.

July accomplishments:

I launched the official #UnashamedGirlTalk podcast, whoot hoot!

This podcast was something I’ve been wanting to do for a few years, and I’m just so blessed that I was able to step out on faith, and do something I am very passionate about, and that’s to inspire, uplift, and encourage women through sisterhood! This podcast was dedicated to the work I do, and to also inspire other women to chase their dreams without feeling ashamed! Please feel free to listen, and also share if you love/like the #UnashamedGirlTalk podcast!

If you all don’t know…

I created a #UnashamedBloggers group.

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This group is a safe-space for bloggers + creatives to come together, uplift, support, and celebrate one another in their blogging journeys!

If you’re a blogger and want to join the #UnashamedBloggers community, please feel free to follow us on Instagram.

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#Chapter24

Yesterday was my 24th birthday, and it was nothing short of amazing! As I sit back, and reflect on the past year, I can’t help but to thank God for his unconditional love, grace, faithfulness and mercy! I have been through so many things in life, and by his grace I was able to overcome everything that was once meant to break me completely down! I feel so blessed knowing that life isn’t promised tomorrow, and you should always appreciate your life + the people around you! Often times we take people, and our lives for granted, and I just don’t want to be a person that’s not appreciative of these amazing things + people in my life.

I made a promise to myself this year that I will always be filled with love, life, forgiveness, and joy! Holding on to things that doesn’t bring me joy isn’t an option anymore, and will no longer live in my heart or spirit. I’m just in a new space, and it feels good to be able to finally be free from old bondage! I just pray that this new year will be filled with an abundance amount of growth, love, positivity, and prosperity!

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Clarity.

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(Photo is by Nicholle Kobi).

Hello July,

We’re only 10 days into the month of July, there’s been so much love + joy and even chaos in my life these past few months. But overall life is so joyful, and those bad days doesn’t last forever! If you don’t know, July is my favorite month of the year, and it’s also my birthday month. I don’t really have any plans, because I hate planning + preparing for things! I just like when things flow naturally, and smoothly without having too many expectations and being let down by people who never come through.

But anyways…

Over this past weekend I was able to celebrate the life of my son who just turned two years old, spend time with my family, and also catch up with my best-friend. It felt really good to be surrounded by love, genuine love! It also felt good to finally be able to spend a weekend without thinking about work, and business. If you truly know me, you know that I am a workaholic, and I will not do anything until my work is completely finished. My mind is always on the go, and I can never shut my brain off with all of these amazing ideas God keeps placing onto my spirit.

Besides….

I love + appreciate my work ethic, and how I manage to balance everything I have going on in my life, whether it’s good or bad. But don’t get it twisted, there are days where I just want to get a break from everything + everyone, while I focus completely on myself, and nothing else. I remember thinking it was so selfish of me wanting to focus on myself, knowing I have my own little family, immediate + extended family, and friends. So I would pretty much shrug off the idea of taking care of myself, since I’m a natural born nurturer. Which is definitely a blessing, and sometimes a curse because I love making sure the people I love is good, but I have to make sure I am good as well. But now I know that it’s so important + apart of self-care that I take care of myself, and recharge! Life can become a little overwhelming, and you need to be mindful that your mental-health + well-being matters and it should be a priority in your life! I’m just so grateful that I have a partner that understands my need for being alone at times, without him feeling neglected. I just love how he’s very understanding + respectful of my wishes, which makes me appreciate him ten times more.

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(Photo is from Nicholle Kobi)

Let’s rewind back to last week…

A few days ago I caught myself having a mini breakdown, because I was feeling extremely burnt out from work and being overwhelmed with life’s chaos. Work has been filled with joy because I have some amazing co-workers who I have built amazing relationships with, and then there are days where I just don’t want to be here at all. I don’t feel fulfilled anymore, and that’s simply because my passion lies elsewhere. Life’s chaos has been my apartment complex, and their extremely rude + unprofessional staff and a crazy ass next door neighbor. Let me mind you, we’ve only been living in our apartment since 6/1, and I’m already ready to move out. Don’t get me wrong, the place is absolutely beautiful but it’s definitely not worth the bullshit they put you through. The management there is the absolute worse, but the good thing about all of this is we’re moving to another unit from this creepy neighbor of ours.

I literally had to take a whole day, and dedicate it to myself without any distractions, and just recharge because the way I was feeling, I know for a fact God wouldn’t of been happy. I’m just so glad that when I was going through my season of exposure last year, I was able to truly learn self-discipline + control, because I was on the verge of going completely off, and just being like you know what, it is what it is, IDGAF. The old me would’ve been like I don’t have time for this shit, i’ll go somewhere else and end up in the SAME exact position, but somewhere else! But the woman I am today just uses those examples as life lessons to push myself even harder, so I can get myself to where I need/want to be.

Moving forward….

June has taught me so much about myself, patience, and why settling will never be an option for me. I remember being stuck in places, and situations that didn’t fulfill me and would be soooo miserable because I knew I deserved God’s best. So I prayed about a few things last week, and God gave me exactly what I needed. I decided to let go of the things I had absolutely no control over, and focused on the things I do have control over, and that’s joy + peace. Today I received an amazing email that made me smile soooo big on the inside + out, and I knew that was God answering my prayers for guidance. Let’s just say, when you think he isn’t working, he’s working over-time and you should never doubt him coming through for you, especially with something that’s BETTER than life!