Knowing when to let go of toxic relationships. 

Have you ever had to question yourself and think about whether or not you should be involved with a person and their negative energy? Well here’s a few pointers on when to let certain situations, friendships and relationships go that serves you NO good!  

Motivation: 

Do the people you associate yourself with motivate you to be the best person you can be? If not, then you shouldn’t be surrounding yourself with those types of people! If you feel as though you can’t grow with the person you’re dating or a person you’re friends with, then it’s time to reevaluate your surrounds and let go! When it comes a point in your life where you feel as though you don’t have support from the people you’re always around, then it’s time to get rid of those people. 

Uninspired: 

Are you a person who wants nothing but the best for your partner or whoever you’re surrounding yourself with and you feel as though they’re not willing to want better for themselves? Let them go! If they’re not willing to change for themselves and become a better person, then that’s just someone you shouldn’t be surrounding yourself with! You have to realize when and who to invest your energy and time into, if you’re constantly having to tell someone what it is they should be doing and they keep making an excuse to change… Then yeah, it’s time to let it go! 

Knowing when you’re wasting your time.

If you’re constantly investing more time and feeling like you’re the only one trying to make your relationship or friendship work while the other person isn’t even trying to meet you half way.. Then it’s time to let go! You’re not weak or fake for letting go of things that doesn’t serve you any purpose, you have every right to grow and prosper in life. People who aren’t motivated and aren’t on the same level as you mentally and physically doesn’t need to be apart of your growth! How are you supposed to grow, when you have people in your life that’s only bringing you down? 

Negativity.

If a person only calls you with negativity and only when they want something, then it’s time to let that person go! Who wants to be around someone who only hits you up when its convenient for them, or when it’s about something that’s negative? NOBODY! If you feel as though this is becoming so annoying and you want to tell your friend or partner about themselves, don’t be afraid to do so! Sometimes people need to hear that they’re bringing unwanted drama into your life and you’re tired of it. If they care about you and your friendship, then they’ll respect what you’re saying if not, then oh well! 

Moral to the story: 

If people aren’t adding to your life, they’re simply subtracting from your life and this could be your happiness, joy and energy! Know when it’s time to simply let go and move forward! You will always see the same results with people who don’t see any issues in their actions! 

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Staying true to myself and living my life on my own terms.

Question: What is the “right way” to live your life? You don’t know? Yeah me neither!

There’s nothing worser than a person who can’t truly be themselves, in a world full of judge mental people! It’s really sad how many times a person gets judged, talked about or feel like they’re lesser than someone else because of the way they choose to live their life. I think where the problems lie is when society and social media, has a certain imagine on how your life should be and what you should be doing because that’s just the way it “should” be.

I mean this life is totally yours, why wouldn’t you want to live it the way you want to live it? Why do we feel like if we’re not living life to certain standards, that we’re not qualified? Why can’t we enjoy our life, without the judgement of others? I guess the real question is why can’t I live my life, how I want to live it?

A few years ago, I decided to be unapologetically me and live my life without the cares of what “others” think. Staying true to myself, walking in my truth and living my life only in light is what makes me who I am and happy! I guess I just got to a point in my life where the bull crap couldn’t no longer exist, I was tired and emotionally drained! That’s what these types of things can do to a person, & that’s just something I didn’t want or need! It doesn’t matter if you’re doing good or bad, people is going to say whatever they feel they need to say about you regardless! So why should I stress about other people not liking or accepting my happiness? It’s MY happiness… Right?

I really had to reevaluate myself and change my perspective a lot! People will never understand your journey, & that’s okay! It’s yours, not theirs. I mean there are days where it’s like okay, I could be doing this and that but then again, I know God wants me to be exactly where I am at, in order for me to get to where I need to be and that’s totally fine with me!

Moral to the story:

Don’t ever limit yourself, reach higher and fully take advantage of every opportunity that you feel is best for you! Stop worrying about what other people think, & just DO it! You never know what’s out there until you get out of your comfort zone, & take chances!

 

How do I juggle being a parent, my relationship, being a full time student and working full time. 

I just want to throw in there juggling all of these things aren’t easy, at all. There’s going to be days where you feel like it’s too much, & just want to give up at times. I guess for me over the years time management has helped me in so many ways possible, & I have to always tell myself that one day all of this all will eventually pay off.

If you’re wondering who keeps the kids while I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off, it’s Mike. He works overnights at the post office, while I work the day shift at the bank and go to school in the evening. Nights and weekends is my bonding time with my children, & I cherish every second watching Annie over and over again.

People say to me all the time, I don’t see how you do it and still able to make time for your children and your man. To honestly answer your question, you have to know what comes first and prioritize. My family is the most important thing in my life, so I’m going to make sure they’re my first priority at the end of the day! But I do have to make a living for us, & by that I go to work and school.

Juggling my relationship with all of the things I have going on….

Mike is very supportive and doesn’t really require much from me, just because he knows how important it is for me to accomplish my goals. Let’s not get it twisted, we do make it a priority to make time for eachother. We’re both off on the weekends so we spend the whole weekend either doing things as a family or having a date night for a few hours, while the kids are away at their nana house.

Despite having different work schedules, & not being able to spend time with eachother whenever we want to is kind of frustrating at times but its something you have to get accustomed to when you have children, especially small children. I’ll see him for a few hours before its time for me to start my day and when I get off its time for him to get ready to start his overnight shift. I guess this just works for us, I know people who require so much time together with their spouse that they tend to bump heads because the other person is too busy! In our case, it’s just never that serious! We both know that we have to work in order for us to take care of our children, household and ourselves. So we understand that we won’t be able to see and spend as much time as we would like, but we have priorities so we just have to do what we have to do.

Working and trying to finish college:

I do have my days where I’m just like, you know what I don’t want this anymore! I just would rather work and not think about the stress of graduating from college, but I think about my job and how I don’t want to a bank teller for the rest of my life. So I suck it up, & just grind even harder because that’s just something I don’t ever see myself doing for the rest of my life. College isn’t easy, by far and I think the closer I am to finishing the more axienty I get and it makes me so nervous.

I learned that those small little pep talks to yourself, & just having genuine people in your corner to lift you up whenever you’re feeling down and out about something helps you out a lot.

Quick little message:

Another thing that I can offer you guys is don’t compare your life and what you’re doing to the next person. You might think someone has the perfect life via social media, but in reality they don’t! They’re trying to make a living just like you, they get stressed out because life can be overwhelming and they have a lot of bills that keeps adding up! Nothing is peaches and cream, we’re ALL human beings at the end of the day!

Transitioning from pain to being genuinely happy.

I wouldn’t say my life is all peaches and cream, because it’s not! I’ve had my share of good and bad days, sometimes I have more bad days than I have good days. I mean who hasn’t, I’m human right? Well about seven to six years ago, I didn’t think my life would turn out the way it did. I was so hurt, damage, broken and all of the above. It got to a point where I just wanted to be alone and crawl right under a rock, I was so emotionally broken. I had everything I wanted, but I still wasn’t happy! Like how can a person who has everything be so unhappy and miserable? 

Seeing that I was so unhappy and miserable didn’t really do anything for me, besides bring me down and cause me to miss out on so many great opportunities in life. It took for me to have my first breaking point and ask myself is this really how you want to live your life sad, depressed, broken, bitter and angry? Do the people who genuinely love you deserve to be treated with so much disrespect, because you’re too afraid of being let down? What are you going to do when they leave, because they don’t deserve the way you’re treating them? Do you want to be lonely for the rest of your life? Is this really what you want? The answer was definitely no! 

 That saying “hurt people, hurt people” is true because that’s exactly what I was doing to the people who just wanted to love me unconditional. Me being who I was then wouldn’t allow others to come into my life and make things better because all I knew how to do was push people away because all I felt like they were going to do was leave me anyways. It took for me to almost lose everything and everyone, to finally realize that I had everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me all along.

Looking back on my experience I can definitely say I’ve came along way mentally and emotionally. I feel like you can have everything in the whole world, but if you don’t genuinely love yourself than it means absolutely nothing! Being able to live and walk in my truth and acknowledge my hurt was so worth it, because I feel like I was rebirthed and was able to get another chance to be the person I was trying so hard to become. Having a strong support system got me through everything I was facing and knowing I wasn’t alone made me enjoy the journey even more.

Moral to the story:

 

Why I don’t post much about my relationship, via social media. 

People ask me all the time, why don’t I post or share my relationship with my boyfriend via social media. Well… The answer to your question is because I don’t feel like I have too, I’m not trying to sound arrogant or cocky what so ever! But I don’t feel the need to share certain things and that being one, I might post something or a picture here and there but that’s about it. Mike doesn’t have any type of social media sites, so it’s really pointless if you ask me lol. Plus we just rather not be confined and condemned to the standards of social media or the world on how our relationship is “supposed” to be.

Some people are just private, & choose not to exploit their relationship! Not because they’re hiding something, but they don’t need people who don’t personally know them in their relationship! You can post a million and one pictures and post about your man/woman and people will still feel like you’re not happy with the person you’re with and lying about your relationship or whatever. So yeah, I just choose not to do what other people do! No validation needed, it’s never that serious. 🤗