I wouldn’t say my life is all peaches and cream, because it’s not! I’ve had my share of good and bad days, sometimes I have more bad days than I have good days. I mean who hasn’t, I’m human right? Well about seven to six years ago, I didn’t think my life would turn out the way it did. I was so hurt, damage, broken and all of the above. It got to a point where I just wanted to be alone and crawl right under a rock, I was so emotionally broken. I had everything I wanted, but I still wasn’t happy! Like how can a person who has everything be so unhappy and miserable?
Seeing that I was so unhappy and miserable didn’t really do anything for me, besides bring me down and cause me to miss out on so many great opportunities in life. It took for me to have my first breaking point and ask myself is this really how you want to live your life sad, depressed, broken, bitter and angry? Do the people who genuinely love you deserve to be treated with so much disrespect, because you’re too afraid of being let down? What are you going to do when they leave, because they don’t deserve the way you’re treating them? Do you want to be lonely for the rest of your life? Is this really what you want? The answer was definitely no!
That saying “hurt people, hurt people” is true because that’s exactly what I was doing to the people who just wanted to love me unconditional. Me being who I was then wouldn’t allow others to come into my life and make things better because all I knew how to do was push people away because all I felt like they were going to do was leave me anyways. It took for me to almost lose everything and everyone, to finally realize that I had everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me all along.
Looking back on my experience I can definitely say I’ve came along way mentally and emotionally. I feel like you can have everything in the whole world, but if you don’t genuinely love yourself than it means absolutely nothing! Being able to live and walk in my truth and acknowledge my hurt was so worth it, because I feel like I was rebirthed and was able to get another chance to be the person I was trying so hard to become. Having a strong support system got me through everything I was facing and knowing I wasn’t alone made me enjoy the journey even more.
Moral to the story:
People ask me all the time, why don’t I post or share my relationship with my boyfriend via social media. Well… The answer to your question is because I don’t feel like I have too, I’m not trying to sound arrogant or cocky what so ever! But I don’t feel the need to share certain things and that being one, I might post something or a picture here and there but that’s about it. Mike doesn’t have any type of social media sites, so it’s really pointless if you ask me lol. Plus we just rather not be confined and condemned to the standards of social media or the world on how our relationship is “supposed” to be.
Some people are just private, & choose not to exploit their relationship! Not because they’re hiding something, but they don’t need people who don’t personally know them in their relationship! You can post a million and one pictures and post about your man/woman and people will still feel like you’re not happy with the person you’re with and lying about your relationship or whatever. So yeah, I just choose not to do what other people do! No validation needed, it’s never that serious. 🤗
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the past 8 years, we met in middle school through a mutual friend and pretty much been dating every since! I wouldn’t say our relationship was serious back then, because we were so young! So I don’t know if I should say 8 years, but it has been 8 long years of great friendship. Before we started dating, we were friends, hanging out, having fun and doing stuff that normal teenagers do.
We would literally talk on the phone for hours, which is hilarious because we wouldn’t get off of the phone until one of our parents picked up the landline and say it’s such and such time, you’ll see him/her at school tomorrow. We did this for about 5 months, until he “Mike” decided to ask me to be his girlfriend. I definitely said yes, of course lol. Even with us going to different schools after our 9th grade year, we still kept in contact with each other and would arrange to see each other once a month.
I think it wasn’t until we were about 15-16 years old when our relationship began to get serious, I think we were both at a point in our lives where we felt like this was something we both wanted. Yeah I know, we were young butttt we just knew that we wanted each other and that was just that. We went from seeing each other once a month, to pretty much seeing each other a couple of times a week “if we weren’t working, or at school”. Mike ended up getting his license and buying a car, so yeah we were definitely seeing each other a whole lot more.
We had our first child “Autumn” very young 17 and 19 years old and I believe at that time is when we became more responsible, selfless adults and parents! I mean you would hear and see stories of young couples, having children but separating before or after the child was born. So in that sense, I didn’t know what our future held, but he was very supportive and more than ready to take on our new responsibility. His actions proved everything statistic said wrong, that’s why I love him so much!
I think it’s so important to build a friendship, before you jump into a relationship. Every relationship is different, that I do know! Establishing a friendship and getting to know the person you’re dating or see yourself being with long term is so important. People look at young couples and say all types of negative things and it really makes me kind of sad and disgusted that they wouldn’t be supportive of two people who are in love. I’m not saying this happened to us, but I’m just speaking in general.
If you’re a person who loves and values yourself, being disrespected by another individual will never be tolerated in your life, period! I think that people know who they can disrespect and run over, because they’ll continue to do it especially if they see that that’s the type of behavior you allow into your life.
People who really love and respect you, will never disrespect you! & that’s as real as its going to get, setting some boundaries in your life on the things you will not tolerate or settle for should definitely be a priority! Also, If you’re constantly telling yourself this person loves me and cares about me, but their actions shows you other wise then maybe they really don’t love or care about you! It doesn’t matter how much you do for that individual, if they don’t want to love and respect you, then that’s just something they’re not going to do! It doesn’t matter how many times you allow that person back into your life, if they don’t want to change the way that they treat you then that’s just really what it is.
People mentally check themselves out of the relationship earlier on when they feel like it’s not going anywhere, the love or connection isn’t there anymore or whatever the case may be. Don’t get me wrong they will continue to be around, just to be around because they don’t want to let you go! So they continue to string you along with all of these lies, promises and etc. Some people are just controlling and will rather see you unhappy with them, instead of being happy with someone else!
Moral to the story: Don’t ignore the red flags you begin to see earlier on in the relationship, friendship or whatever the case may be.
Best decision I’ve ever made for my child was to breastfeed him, & the fact that it’s even healthier for him makes it all worth it. It’s been 6 months since I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, & we’re still enjoying this breastfeeding journey! Mike is my biggest supporter when it comes to breastfeeding, besides the mommy pages I follow. Whenever I feel like giving up, he always remind me that I have another 6 months to go lol.
Breastfeeding isn’t easy the first week or two, because you feel like your milk isn’t coming in fast enough. But what I have learned is the more you put your baby on your breast, the more milk you produce. Of course your nipples are going to be really sore and cracking, the first week or so. But after that, it goes right to normal and the soreness goes away! Now if you’re still expericing tenderness on your nipples, I would definitely talk to a lactation specialist or your doctor.
People always ask me “when will you stop breastfeeding”? I guess the answer to your questions is I don’t think I’ll stop anytime soon and to be completely honest, I’m thinking about breastfeeding until he’s about one or two years old. I totally wouldn’t mind breastfeeding for another year or so.
I think that in order for you to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you have to make time for one another and make your relationship a priority! If you have children, you will know that finding a babysitter can sometimes be impossible! Which is very understandable, sometimes it can be very complicated trying to plan out a date night especially when you have younger children. But, it’s very possible and can be accomplished! I think a few nights out of a month to just enjoy each other’s company, can be very rewarding for the both of you guys! I’m not saying you have to go out and do anything super fancy, sometimes watching a movie at home and just talking can be very relaxing to the both of you! Consistency is definitely key. 🔑