(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)
Hello beautiful souls,
Today’s blog topic is going to be focused on why I needed to take a much needed mental break this summer, and understanding that it’s okay to unplug without feeling apologetic.
This past summer I decided to take a much needed break from everything + everyone to focus completely on myself, and craft. I even took a small blogging break, because I didn’t really didn’t have the words to write about how I was feeling at that moment. Normally when I find myself unplugging from the world, blogging is one of my outlets but this time around I didn’t have any energy to write. I just didn’t want to be bothered, and eventually I stopped answering my phone. I wasn’t really feeling my best-self, so I needed to get to the root of so many things + emotions I was feeling. There are days, weeks, and even months where I go through these little spells, and I isolate myself from everything to get my head back together. It’s really nothing against anyone, I just have my days where I just need to be completely alone.
Over the past few years self-care has been one of my top priories, but it wasn’t until this year when I experienced my first “real” burnout that I needed to focus more on taking care of myself, and putting myself first as well. Now for most people who don’t understand the importance of self-care, this might sound a little selfish that you’re putting yourself first, but it’s not! Self-care is so important + vital in our everyday life, and it’s also important that if you’re in an unhealthy space, you need to make sure that you take a step back and focus completely on getting yourself together, even if this means unplugging from everything + everyone until you feel you’re in a great space!
If you’ve read some of my previous blog post, you may know that I battle with depression and taking care of my mental-health is one of my main priorities. I just feel as though we put so much unneeded pressure on ourselves, and don’t realize that we’re ourselves sick. When I experienced my first real burnout this spring, I remember my professor telling us in class that whenever you get to a point in your career/life or anything, it’s time to move on! Let me mind you, I ended up staying thinking things were going to get better, and guess what? It didn’t…
I didn’t know where to go, or who to turn to at the moment other than God because in the beginning I felt fulfilled, but as the months went by, I didn’t have those same feelings. I felt like giving up, and just quitting! I spoke briefly about how I was feeling to a close co-worker of mine, and she gave me the best advice, ever! She told me that nothing changes, unless you make the change! Those words stuck with me, and I decided to bring this issue up to the supervisor about being micro-managed, and surprisingly, she wanted to figure out better ways to support me! I’m not going to say that things are 100% better, because change doesn’t happen overnight, but I would say we’re maybe at 55%, which is better than 0%.
There’s still some uneasy emotions, but I truly + honestly believe that God is about to bless me with something bigger, and better! So we shall see what these next few months are looking like, but in the meantime this will have to do until I find something better! Let’s just pray that there’s a bigger blessing with my name on it, before the end of this year….
During this little break…
I have noticed that people who don’t really know me, take offense to my mental-breaks, and make what I am going through about them, which is completely selfish, and self-centered. It’s really taking me so many years to put myself first, and for people to think that my world + mental well-being revolves around them is completely insane. I truly believe that when you tell people you don’t feel like doing this or that, and they catch an attitude, that’s when you know theses aren’t the people you need in your life, and they simply don’t care about nobody but themselves, and I refuse to have people in my life like that, PERIOD!
Appreciate the people that’s REALLY in your corner..
(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)
I appreciate my amazing support system, and the half handful of friends + blogger sisters I have who genuinely has my back, and care about my well-being. It’s very rare that you come across people who genuinely love, care, and support you! When you have people like this in your life, it’s important that you appreciate + value them. There’s never not been a time where I was going through something, and I couldn’t call on them for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear.
This summer I have learned that when I feel my best, I give my best. I’ve noticed that I am more focused, positive, a better lover, mother, and friend when I feel my best. I have also learned that I need to continuously give myself small pep-talks on how there’s NO such thing as perfect, and that we’re all imperfect people, and that it’s okay to have fucked up days! I also have to be mindful of the negative things I say to myself, and about myself when I don’t feel my best. There’s going to be days where I feel my absolute best, and then there are going to be days where I feel like shit, and that’s okay! We have to understand that we are human, and that it’s okay to embrace all of these emotions from time to time.
During this little break I also decided to let go of a lot of past hurt, pain, and self-sabotage, and started to embrace joy, peace, and happiness. This is a never ending process, but the joy you begin to feel after you’ve genuinely forgiven yourself feels amazing, and that joy you begin to experience is unexplainable. I personally think when we learn that life is truly what we make out of it, you’ll begin to see things in a new perspective. I have this newfound joy in my life, and it’s truly taking me years to get to this point, and it feels really good!
(Artwork: Nicholle Kobi)
This summer I just needed to do a little more soul-searching and to dig a little deep into the woman I want to be in the future, and by doing this I had to understand that I needed to take a break from unhealthy habits, and situations to focus completely on myself. I used this summer to unplug from things that didn’t contribute to my happiness, or the woman God has called me to be. Taking this break has opened so many doors for myself, and brought out this creative side I didn’t knew existed deep inside of me. I feel so amazing, refreshed, and recharged to tackle on all of these amazing projects I have set out to do before the end of the year approaches.
Sprinkle of motivation…
I just want you all to live your best life, and to enjoy the NOW! Often times we get so focused on planning for our future, that we forget to enjoy where we’re right this second! This causes us to burnout, and it’ll eventually cause you to go into a state of depression. Enjoy your life, and do the things you love! Don’t rush the process, let these amazing opportunities/blessings come to you naturally. Don’t beat yourself up because you feel as though you could be doing more, understand that you’re doing the best that you can, with what you have right now and that’s all that matters.
Here’s a quick list of self-care rituals I do on a day-to-day basis to get my spirits back up.
- Longggg conversations with God.
- Listening to my favorite podcast.
- Read my daily bible devotions.
- Taking a bubble bath.
- Reading one of my favorite books.
- Catching up on my favorite tv shows.
- Taking a walk in my neighborhood.
- Working out for 30 minutes a day.
- Listening to my favorite music playlist.
- Writing a new blog.
- Spending some alone time at my favorite coffee shop.