Parents start teaching your children the importance of independence and being responsible adults! There’s no way in hell your grown ass child should be staying with you, if they’re not doing anything productive in life! Smoking, drinking and fighting should be the least of their worries if they’re not out here working, going to school or doing something productive with their time! I’m raising a young queen and a king, I’ll be damn if my children aren’t successful! You’re a reflection of your child, & what you allow to happen in your home is what they’ll be doing outside of it! Period! This shit starts at home, FIRST!
I just want to thank God and all of the people who has genuinely been there supporting and uplifting me since day one on this journey! Every obstacle I have endured, have been on faith and taking the next steps to not only better myself as an individual but as a woman! I didn’t understand my purpose, but I knew I had one! This has been one of the most happiest, draining and emotional yet rewarding journey for me! I can’t tell you how many times I dropped out of college in my head, because I lost count lol. This clearly wasn’t the most easiest thing to do, but I knew it was worth it! I learned so much and I still have so much to learn! I know this might not be special or a big deal to most, but to me this is huge! Being the first in my immediate family to graduate college was something I’ve never thought I’d experience, especially with all of the odds, statistics and things the media portrays about young mothers and etc! This isn’t the end for me, just the beginning of something so beautiful. I also want to give a big shout to the love of my life, thank you for being my number one supporter, pushing and motivating me! Thanks for all of those long sleepless days/nights holding our children down so I can study and do my homework! You put your dreams on hold, so I can chase my dreams! I love you in all ways, always! 🎓❤️
I don’t know if it’s the weather being so gloomy today, or not being able to sleep for the past few nights.. But whatever it is, I’m just not feeling today…. Today I’m just not feeling 100% myself, & it’s really annoying the crap out of me! It’s so easy giving up on everything you’ve worked so hard for, when you’re having one of those down moments and today is one of those days I just feel like giving up on all of my hard work and dedication!
I wouldn’t say it’s stress, because it’s not! I think I’m just more so overwhelmed with everything that’s going on, involving school and just trying to finish this semester off on a positive note! This has been by far the most challenging, overwhelming semester I’ve ever had! I don’t know if it’s because I’m so close to graduating, that I’m starting to get cold feet and the negative thoughts are just overflowing! As much as I want to stay positive and look at the bigger picture, today I just can’t! I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve dropped out of college 20+ times this semester already lol. I know this might sound bad, but it’s the God honest truth! It’s just something about this semester, I just wasn’t mentally prepared!
I sometimes just ask myself “just take a break and try again another semester, or maybe even next year”, & I know that’s not going to work for me because I’m too impatient and want things to go my way, that I get so caught up in wanting things to work on my timing and not trusting God’s timing for me! I know I shouldn’t worry about anything he has planned for me, but it’s hard and today it’s just harder to not worry about things turning out how I visioned it working out in my head!
Quick Pep Talk:
I know as women, we tend to shy away from our goals or achieving some of the many things we need to do, whenever we feel overwhelmed with life in general! We also tend to get so caught up in distractions which makes us lose focus on the things that’s important, to only focusing on things that’s not going to benefit us in no way shape or form. I guess it’s easier said then done, but sometimes you just need a boost of energy to get you through a tough day, like the one I’m having now! But hopefully the rest of the week turns out better and I’m able to get some type of energy boost! 💜
Have you ever felt like you could be doing better with your time, or you know you deserve better than what you’ve been settling for this year? It’s like you don’t know if you want to do this, or if you want to do that! Which kind of makes you feel a little inconsistent when it comes to checking off your 2016 goals, because you don’t know where to actually begin? Like you know you have the right resources/information to get you to where you know you can be, but you don’t have the motivation to actually do it? Yup, me too!
I don’t know what it is about 2016, but my mind has been all over the place with actually tackling my 2016 goals. The last month or so, I haven’t been having any type of motivation to do anything what so ever! I don’t know if it’s from axienty or just simply being overwhelmed with everything on my get it done list! I know I made a familiar post about this subject, or something like this but it’s definitely the truth! Like how can you have all of this burst of energy to do all of these things one day, then the next day don’t have the desire to do them? That’s a great question I had to ask myself over the weekend, & I’ve came to the conclusion that my settling season is OVER! I want more, & I want to do more and what better time to start a life you’ve always dreamed of than now? I mean, I don’t have anything what so ever holding me back, but myself so why not go for it and do the things I actually want to do?
I guess this weekend really opened up my eyes and ears to some really honest but hurtful truths! When you know you have what it takes to actually get yourself to where you need to be, but all you can think about is the things that could go wrong instead of worrying about the things that can actually go right… That’s when we tend to place fear over our faith and that’s just something I vow to never do to myself again! I guess things are better done than said, but I know if I can be consistent with other things that really doesn’t matter to me, than why not be consistent with things I know will benefit me in the future? It’s either I’m going to be 50/50, or 100/100! There’s no in betweens, excuses or negative thinking when I know these things can get done and have a positive impact on myself and future!
This weekend we decided to do a staycation “stay in the state lol”, & go up north to a resort in Duluth, MN! This weekend has been nothing but love, joy, peace & quite, something that we definitely needed from all of the long weeks of work and school! This weekend I reflected on a lot of things in life, & also realized how blessed I am to be in love with someone whose just as much in love with me! I’m forever grateful to be spending another year with someone I’m going to love always, & forever! 👫💙
I know we all get busy/ overwhelmed with life and it’s many obstacles, that we tend to neglect our spouses in the process of our hectic work schedules. I know it can be hard trying to make time for your spouse when you have children, especially little bitty babies! Trying to find a babysitter to get out of the house for just a few hours to get some much needed air, & just a general break from life for just a few hours!
You don’t have to pick some place super fancy “unless you want too”, but sometimes a date night can be you guys chilling at home, watching a movie and simply having a great conversation about life/etc. Sometimes just being able to talk to your spouse about how your week is going can help with communication in your relationship, if communication is being lacked due to less time spent with one another.
How many times should you do date night:
I personally think 1-3 times a month, is pretty standard and simple! This doesn’t have to be going to a restaurant or something really fancy, but getting the house to y’all selves for a few hours is always a plus when you have children! If your schedule is different from your spouse, MAKE TIME! There’s nothing like consistency and someone trying to spend quality time with you when they know you guys are both super busy and just want to forget about work and all of the other things life throws at us to spend some much needed time with one another.
If you have children:
Stop making excuses, saying you can’t do this or you can’t do that because you guys have children! If you truly love someone, you will definitely make it a priority to make your relationship a priority as well! Not saying put your relationship/marriage before your children, but simply a few little hours out of your day to spend alone with your spouse! This can be after you’ve done put the children to bed, & you guys got that few hour window before they wake up to talk, catch up on what’s been going on at work and just filling each other in on what’s going in at work or etc. I know some people don’t even ask their spouse how their day at work went, but to me I think it’s important to ask! Maybe your spouse wants to tell you how their day went, & just want someone to listen to them vent if they’ve had a really rough day! Consistency and communication is definitely key, & it doesn’t hurt to let your spouse know that you care!
We can say that when things begin to settle down in ourlives, then that’s when we’ll start to make time for our spouses but sometimes that’s not the case because sometimes things don’t never settle down, your life can become more and more hectic as the days go by! Your spouse should be the person who makes your days brighter when you’re feeling overwhelmed with everything that’s happening in your life! I think just showing your spouse consistency, affection, love, support and attention will definitely go a very long way!
I know women and men see things differently, because we’re all different in our own little way but let your spouse know how you’re feeling and just being upfront about you guys needing to spend time together and how important it is in your relationship! If you’re a person who only looks for the other to make the first move, try something new and plan the date! I know some people are fixed on the whole gender roles “which is okay, if that’s what you prefer”, but there’s nothing wrong with taking the other one out either!
I guess the moral to this post is to stop making excuses when it comes to your relationship and spending time with your spouse, 45 minutes is more than enough time to spend with partner! If you’re with someone who is constantly making excuses as to why they can’t make time for you, then it’s time to have a sit down with your partner and express how you feel about them not trying to make time for you or the relationship! No one is never that busy, where they cant take an hour out of their day to make you feel appreciated, loved and wanted! Period! 😊
Do you ever feel like you should be doing more, or you should be at a certain stage in your life? Yup, me too!
I always get told you’re doing this and you’re doing that, but to me that’s not enough! I want to do more, I want to be more and I want to continue to grow in every aspect in my life! I feel as though I could always be doing more than what I am already doing, but it’s hard trying to remind yourself that you’re still young and that you have your whole life ahead of you! But for me that’s not the case, I love keeping myself busy especially when it comes to chasing my dreams!
Is wanting more a bad thing? Is it an illusion? Is it even real? What if the things I really want, become things I don’t really need? Why do we tend to always put more on our plate, when we know it’ll cause us to have burn outs and become stressed out? I guess these are some questions we often ask ourselves when we feel things aren’t going how we want them to go.
I feel like in some of these cases where you want to just jump right ahead in your career, buying your first home or paying off all of your debits…. The first thing we need to do is to take a deep breath, & just breathe. Give yourself that little pep talk, & assure yourself that you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing right now and when the time comes for you to be where you’re supposed to be, you will be there! As long as you know you’re on the right track to being successful, then you’re doing a great job!
Here’s to my mothers, whose juggling it all… BREATHE!
Everything is going to be okay, you’re more than enough and you’re doing enough! Don’t let anyone tell you, you’re not doing all that you’ve set out to do! I know being a full time mother, student, working and maintaing a relationship with your spouse can become overwhelming but the way that God is set up, he’s making you uncomfortable for a reason! There’s always light at the end of every tunnel. Our children know that we work our behinds off to be able to take care of them, they know that mommy is superwoman and they love us unconditionally whether we have it or not! I think that’s what I love the most about my children is the fact that I can literally have the toughest week at work/school, but when I see their faces nothing else matters besides them!
I guess over the years I’ve noticed that when I wake up each morning and don’t thank God for waking me up and being able to support my family, I’m already going to start my day off with complaining and looking for the negatives when I know I should be positive and thankful for all the things he has done for me and my family! It’s so easy to be ungrateful, when you know you’re blessed! The moment I began to trust in God’s timing and not my own, I started to see a shift in my life. I know I want to be somewhere further than where I am at, at this very moment but I also have to be patient and trust that everything I feel I’m going through is only bringing me closer to something great!
Having that support system.
Being able to have people in your corner whenever you’re feeling down and out, can also help you make it through the toughest days! In the past 2-3 years, I have developed some of the most amazing friendships with women, who wants to see me prosper in life. You don’t come across those type of people too often, but when you do please let them know that they’re appreciated! Whenever I need to talk or vent to one of my friends, I know the things that they’re going to tell me is genuine and out of love and that’s what really matters the most! Sometimes you don’t want to get too personal and allow people into your business, but when you know you have genuine people in your corner, you tend to overlook that “I’m speaking too much” mentality! It works for me, when I’m able to be myself and say exactly what it is I’m feeling about the way things are going in my life!
Turning those negatives thoughts, into positive thoughts!
I noticed when I pray every night before bed and when I wake up, my days are so much better! When you begin to speak nothing but positivity into your life, then you start to see better results in your attitude and the way you see things! I used to always tell myself, why aren’t things going the way I want them to go and I realized that I was always being negative and never allowing positive thinking into my life. We’re so quick to blame others for our lives being screwed up and not fully taking responsibility for the things and thoughts we allow into our space! I also think when you distance yourself from unwanted drama and negativity, you will also see a difference in your life.