You guys are probably wondering, what is my views on marriage and when is the perfect time for two people to get married! Well my answer to your question is whenever you feel like you’re ready, & fully committed to one another! It’s so easy to get married, but not having that foundation where it’s genuine love, friendship, happiness , commitment and support will have you ready to leave the marriage before it even starts!
Reasons why I’m not married, YET!
I’m not going to start this off with no I’m anti-marriage stuff, because I’m not! I truly believe marriage is beautiful and love when people who are in love gets married! Even though I’ve been dating for 8-9 years, but in a serious relationship with my partner for 5-6 years. I still feel as though I’m not fully ready to make that big decision just yet, but when that time does come it’s going to be everything and more! I also feel as though when you’re married there’s a lot of things you have to commit too, & if you’re not ready to do those things then you shouldn’t be married! That’s why I feel like it’s so important to date eachother for a while, build that friendship, be able to go through tough times, & simply be committed to one another! Plus it’s important when the feelings are mutual, & not one sided! I mean who wants to marry someone who constantly rushing them to marry them, you can’t make someone do something they’re not ready to do!
Why I’m happy I had my children before marriage.
A lot of people might be confused, especially people who live their life based on their religious reviews “which is totally fine” or generational expectations! I have never lived my life like that, & I’ll never live my life worrying about what “others” think of the way I choose to live my life, remember it’s my life! I just want to clarify my reasonings and don’t want younger girls to think well she did this and that, what I’m saying is live your life how you want to live it and do what works for you! But anywho…For me having a baby was a bigger commitment than marriage, I mean you can have a baby with a person after you’re married, still get a divorce and move on with your life. I’m very conscious of the man I decided to have my children with, before I even had children our relationship was always pure, genuine and his actions always matched his words! I don’t feel less loved, like a family, like a woman and his queen because I’m not married! Society is so harsh and judge mental that it’ll make a strong woman, second guess her relationship just because she doesn’t have a ring or a piece of paper stating that her man loves her.
So if you’re dating someone and don’t see yourself having children with them, then why are you even sleeping with them? Why would you want to be married to that person? Matter of fact, why are you even talking to them? That’s the real questions. I’m not a role model and I’m not encouraging women to do the things I feel works best for me, I just want to encourage you to live your life in your own truth and have a mind of your own!
So what’s the difference?
I believe the difference with this is the fact that people feel like everything is so much better when you do everything the right way, but to me what is the right way? Marriage doesn’t justify or validate anything, especially when you’re with a person who still treats you like crap anyways! 🤔
Why I didn’t want to rush into getting married….
Sometimes women get so overwhelmed with the whole idea of rushing into a marriage, because of the things they see on social media, their friends, family or whatever the case might be for them. Once you jump into a marriage and you don’t fully have that full commitment from your partner or any type of emotional, physically and financial security, then hey you just set yourself up for failure! The things people say, & how social media portray marriage is ridiculous these days! They don’t care if the person you’re with cheated, stole and beat the living crap out of you, if y’all together then get married! I think that’s so crazy to me, & these are just things I honestly don’t feel like it’s right by any means! By the way, I’m not saying date someone for decades before you get married, do it however you want to do it.
I do have my days….
I mean there are times where I’m like you know what, let’s just get married since everyone wants us to get married anyways. But if I did that, then I’ll be doing things because of what other people want me to do and not living my life for my own self. I don’t want to do anything to validate others, because whether we get married or not people are always going to have something to say regardless. Where we’re at now is beautiful, we’re still learning about one another, enjoying each others company, loving eachother unapologetically and etc.
Moral to the story:
Do whatever makes you happy, if you decide not to get married right away then that’s your decision! Never beat yourself up because of what other people might think of you, this is YOUR life, not theirs! ❤️
P.S these are my views and my opinion on what works for me!