Cultivating confidence; while struggling with your truth| Motty

Life.

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself + where do you reside and what it is you do? Where can we find you on social media?

Hey! I’m Motunde ; Motty for short! I’m originally from Nigeria but reside in the UK. I’m a senior year Law student as well as a Blogger (www.mottyinspires.com)  & Freelancer. I love to travel and meet new people! I also love making meaningful connections with people and encouraging them to be the best person they can be. I do this through my blog content as well as in person! I’m that friend who’s always saying ‘Girl, you can do it, you’ve got this!’

2. What was your childhood like? Were you introverted/and or extroverted?

Omg! My childhood was interesting! If I’m being honest, it wasn’t the most amazing time of my life! I was super insecure and super introverted! I had an inferiority complex and suffered from low self esteem. Nonetheless, I grew up in a loving home and I was fortunate to be able to live a comfortable lifestyle however I had a lot of work to do on the inside. Although, I’m still introverted today, I’ve surely come a long way!

3. At what age did you begin to struggle with confidence? Explain what transpired during that time period?

I struggled with confidence throughout my childhood up until my teenage years. I’m also very shy so I struggled a lot in high school. I wasn’t your typical carefree child. I was so self-conscious, a people pleaser and it really stopped me from living my best life. It also affected my friendships, I longed to have a best friend- someone I could confide in & tell all my secrets! I didn’t find that person and along my journey, I learned a lot about people ; learning not to rely on others but focus on loving me and trust that the right people will come at the right time.

4. Did this have a negative effect on your relationship with yourself and others?

Like I mentioned, it affected my relationship with others. I couldn’t open up. I wanted to be vulnerable and be myself but I found it difficult to open up to people even my lovely family. I found it difficult to trust people. I was afraid of being judged, getting hurt and betrayed. So I stayed in my shell really … up until my late teens when I rediscovered myself.

5. What was the most challenging time period in your life?

I would say throughout primary school into my first few years of high school. I had no confidence at all. I couldn’t ask questions in class, I HATED doing presentations and having to stand up and speak. Funny enough, I joined the after school public speaking activities and every time it was  my turn to present, I would use the excuse of ‘oh, can i use the restroom.’ I still don’t know why I joined the class when I had serious stage fright but looking back now, I’m extremely grateful as I learned so much!!!

6. Did you ever feel as though you were spiraling out of control? If so, at what age did you begin to lose self-control?

To be honest, I was never really in control. I let other people control me. I couldn’t be myself. I couldn’t live my life on my terms. I was so people conscious, it was crazy?! Looking back, I’m like, girl why?

7. Did you ever seek professional help? If so, what was that like?

I didn’t however, I was put in ‘Special Needs’ classes. It was for kids with learning disabilities and emotional or behavioral difficulties. I hated it and was ridiculed for it. I grew up in Nigeria and there wasn’t much available for kids that struggle with low self esteem and confidence and even in those classes, I didn’t really feel they were helping me. I would try and avoid the classes but this would mean more trouble for me.. I really didn’t like it. Although, improvements are being made in the country to help with mental health and wellness, there is a still a stigma attached.

8. Do you have anyone in your corner? Who are your biggest supporters?

My family was my rock especially my mum! She was always there for me especially during the times I would get bullied and would get low grades etc. She stood by me. I have a very close-knit family and they were and still are  my biggest supporters. I also have a close relationship with God but it wasn’t solid as it is now.

9. Do you believe social media has a positive or negative impact on the way you view confidence from within?

Yes I think it has a negative impact to be honest !! Social media affects us internally whether we chose to believe it or not. Majority of us spend half of the day scrolling through our Instagram feed monitoring other people’s lives and forgetting we have ourselves to take care of. I’ve also seen tremendous personal growth and sanity when I take detoxes. I’m more productive, I’m present for myself, my family and friends. I’m also able to build up my relationship with God by spending quality time communing with Him.

10. What was the hardest thing you had to embrace when it came to YOUR truth?

I am unique. I am Motunde. Yes, I’m super introverted, shy, have made mistakes but I’m a work in progress. For so long, my past mistakes held me bound but I’m coming to terms with it. They happened for a reason. And instead of suppressing them, I will embrace them because they are a part of my story. They have shaped me into the person I am today; there won’t be a testimony without those mistakes and failures.

11. What are something’s that’s holding you back from being confident in your truth?

Fear of being judged and what other people will think. But, honestly who cares about other people’s opinions? I’ve come to realize someone will always have something to say about you whether you are doing good or bad so I might was well live my life owning my truth.

12. What steps do you need to take to show up for yourself?

Affirmations!!! I’m constantly speaking life, health, wealth, confidence into my life and it works! You are what you tell yourself! I also think & plan out things in my head. I try to be proactive instead of being reactive.

13. How are you going to cultivate confidence/wholeness this year and moving forward?

For me, it’s constantly putting myself outside my comfort zone; doing the things that scare me. Over the last year, I’ve seen tremendous growth in my confidence, I’m able to meet new people, cultivate new relationships, do PUBLIC SPEAKING! Yes I did! Your girl is able to coach people doing school projects, give presentations, ask questions! So I’m just going to keep all this up and not limit myself because of what people will say or think. This coming year, I’m not going to let people stop me from owning my truth and living the life I was called to live.

14. What lessons have you learned? What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with cultivating confidence and their truth?

Girl, it’s a process. It’s a journey. It won’t be easy. People will question your flyness. People will doubt your capabilities. You’ll question yourself but keep your eyes on your bigger goal. You are on earth for a reason. Before anyone else had an opinion, you had a purpose. Focus on that. Believe in yourself. Trust me sis, it’s the KEY. Do whatever it takes – affirmations, practicing in the mirror, public speaking classes. With hard work and a strong belief in yourself, you are unbeatable.

15. If you had to tell anything to that little girl you used to be, what would that be? & also tell her what type of woman are you today?

Wow! Good question!! I would say girl, your future is bright. There is so much ahead of you, why were you stressing? Why were you doubting yourself? Why were you feeding into people’s opinions of people? Why were you wasting time on insignificant things? You are a star. You have so much amazing things ahead of you. You are special. You don’t have be liked by everyone. Stop people -pleasing. Its okay to be different. Do you. Be you. Let everyone else take a hike.

Today I’m a confident woman. I know who I am. I know my truth and I’m owning it. I’m not perfect but I’m not what I used to be. I know my purpose and living that through my online personal development platform (www.mottyinspires.com). I am inspiring, motivating & empowering other young women like me through my story to achieve their goals and become the best they can be. No matter what mistakes you’ve made, what your background was like, who you are, you can make it to the top!!!

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