One of the many things I’ve learned these past four months is….
LIFE GOES ON, whether we want it to or not! There are going to be days where you feel as though you can accomplish anything that you set out to do, & there are going to be days where you feel as though you don’t know if you’re going to make it because life has a funny way of showing you, SHIT HAPPENS! I caught myself dwelling on a few things a couple days ago, some that made me smile and a few things that made me sad but in a good way. God has been taking me on this amazing, but rather overwhelming journey for the past few months and I’m just allowing him to lead the way.
I remember stressing back here last year, when it came to direction and knowing where I should go next and finally decided that this journey wasn’t just mines! I’ve also learned that you can’t force things that’s meant to happen. If it’s meant it’s going to happen and if it’s not, then you already know the rest! I guess I just got tired of trying to do everything on my own, & watching everything fall apart in my life. I knew at that very moment, I needed God to step in and take full control before I lost my self-control. I also knew at that moment of weakness and uncertainty that I needed him the most because I felt as though, I wasn’t myself and I didn’t want to do something I’ll later regret, which is giving up on the things I had a passion for because things wasn’t going the way I had imagined them going.
To be honest…
Looking back at my ungratefulness, half of the things I swear I needed, I don’t even want right now! Like how is that even possible? That’s how you know it’s important that you know the difference between your wants and your needs! & the difference between speed and direction. You can want something today, but tomorrow you might change your mind! You might be so focused on rushing through something, & realize at the very end that you’ve made so many mistakes that’s not fixable! Direction helps you with trying to find where you want to go and do, without having the need to feel as though you have to rush, but you can take your time and perfect your craft.
Ask yourself this…
Are you rushing things because you feel as though you’re not where you want to be in life, & you feel as though if you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it? Or is you rushing because everyone else is doing it and you want to do it to? These are things you need to ask yourself, & hopefully it’s not you rushing because someone else is doing it, & to be honest, if you think that way, just know once you decided to compare your journey to the next person, you’ve already lost.
Only time when you feel you need to compare yourself to someone else, is when you’re not focused on yourself!
It’s so amazing how so many things begin to align in your life, once you understand God’s love is real! My relationship with God has grown so much this past year and being able to experience his love, makes me value life and the people around me so much more. I used to be so ungrateful and always wanted more, when I already had the things I needed the most right in front of my face. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that the things you take for granted, eventually gets taking away! & that’s something you’re going to have to deal with, whether you like it or not!
Understand the things you decide to fill your mind with, will eventually become your reality! I want you to get in the habit of giving yourself those small pep talks, ask yourself these things when you’re feeling like you can’t escape darkness…
- Are you feeding your mind positivity?
- Are you holding on to things you know once you let go, you’ll be free?
- Are you staying around because you’re comfortable?
- Are you so used to verbal abuse, & this is the only thing you know?
- What is it you need to do or get rid of, in order to be free?
These are some of the things I asked myself, while I was going through my healing process! No it wasn’t easy to forgive myself, but it was definitely worth it! You can’t beat yourself up, or blame others for your misfortunes because this is YOUR life at the end of the day. Once you get out of victim mode, & transition over to survivor mode things are going to come easier! Things will not happen right away, but eventually they will! You just have to stay prayed up, focused, patient and BELIEVE that your life is going to change for the better!
Don’t forget to take care of your mental health, it’s important! ❤