Lately I’ve been so distance with everything and everyone due to life’s chaos, trying to finish my last semester of college successfully and graduating with my class! When I say this semester was the hardest semester I’ve ever had to endure, I mean it was so stressful to the point I felt like dropping out! Everything was hitting me left and right and I felt like I didn’t have any type of control over my life at that moment, I wanted to just give up and never look back! I felt so uninspired, unmotivated, my focus was all off and on the wrong things!
I needed a break, but being so prideful I decided to suck everything up and continue on my path to success. I finished this semester with 1 A, 2 B’s & 1 C, look at God! All of the crying and negative talk I was doing didn’t help me in no way shape or form, until I had to literally sit myself down and have that mental talk with myself the last month before the semester was over! It was either you’re going to do it, or be what everyone said you couldn’t be and at that point I never wanted to feel like that again! Period! The devil couldn’t win, because this is my life and I was in complete control of it!
I guess I was just at a point in my life where I felt like I was losing who I was and what I stood for as a woman that I let every little thing hinder me from accomplishing one of my many goals in life. & man when I say I thought I experienced worser times than that, nothing else compares to the crazy thoughts running through my mind a few months ago! I felt hopeless and helpless, nothing anyone said was comforting to me! One of the hardest things to experience when you’re feeling down and out, is the discomfort from those you love! I had so much support from my family, man and friends but nothing they were saying wasn’t getting through to me! I had it already figured out in my mind, I was ready to just give up on everything!
I guess you’re wondering why would you give up the last semester of your two year degrees, but at that moment I was too overwhelmed and didn’t want to physically and mentally face success! Which sounds weird, but I was scared of completing one of my top goals in life. The most important thing I have learned throughout this whole ordeal is to always trust in God, no matter what you’re facing in life! & also that there’s always power in reclaiming your joy and happiness!
Sometimes it’s just best to be open and mindful of the things you’re facing and knowing that you’re not alone! It’s okay to seek help from others, if you have people in your life that you love “vice versa”, you should trust them with your deepest fears or concerns instead of shutting them out when you’re feeling down and out! I know I might’ve been selfish at the time, but I know that they only want what’s best for me and if I can’t see that in myself then there’s nothing they can do but to support and love me!
Moral to the story: